Rachy.

My sister had to pack up and head back to college early last Sunday, August 17th.  Since then, Kylan has probably asked about her somewhere between 5 and 10 times- a DAY.  Ra made a point to come over Sunday morning on her way out of town before we headed to church.  She woke Kylan up (who was more than excited to see her first thing in the morning) and said goodbye in person.  As Ra pulled out of the driveway, Kylan stood there waving saying "Rachy, bye bye.  Rachy, bye bye".  At that point, I think she only understood that her "Aunt Rachy" was leaving for the moment- not for a long time.  I wasn't sure how much a toddler's mind could remember or comprehend, so I figured that, sadly, Kylan would probably temporarily forget that Ra wasn't around as much as she had been while she was home.  How wrong I was.  Just hours later, on the ride home from church that afternoon, I hear "Rachy, car, vroom vroom, bye bye" from the backseat.  I looked back and said "Yes, Kylan, Aunt Rachy had to go bye bye.  She had to go back to school."  Kylan's response was "Rachy, backpack, volleyball".  I had no idea that a) Kylan knows that backpacks are related to school- or even what school is at all, and b) that she knows and understands that Ra plays volleyball at her school.  I was impressed.  But also sad for Kylan, realizing that she does, to a point, understand that her Aunt Rachy is gone.  

Then that night before bed I was just singing this short little "song" to her that I sometimes do that goes "I love Kylan, I love Kylan.  Yes, I do.  Yes, I do.  Mommy loves her Kylan Rae, Mommy loves her Kylan Rae.  Daddy, too.  Daddy, too.  (Yes, silly, I know)  And right before I got to the part that says "Daddy, too" Kylan picked her head up off my shoulder, looks at me, and says "Rachy!".  I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that so I just kept going.  But she said "No, no.  Rachy".   I thought about it for a moment and said "Do you want me to say Rachy's name in the song?"  and I got the most emphatic "Yeah!  Yeah!"  So I had to sing that song about 5 more times saying "Rachy, too.  Rachy, too" at the end until she finally thought it was enough and would let me lay her down to sleep.

Each night has now followed with Kylan saying "Rachy, Rachy" after I pick her up from reading her bedtime book and begin to put her in her crib.  And as long as I sing that song with Ra's name in it at least once, she's happy to lay down and go right to sleep.

Also, it's so random the times Kylan will just out of the blue say "Rachy?", looking at me with big wondering eyes that ask where her Aunt, whom she saw close to every day throughout the summer, has gone.  Or out of nowhere she'll just say "Mommy, Rachy bye bye.  Key, car, vroom, vroom."  (That's the extent of her sentences and/or storytelling at this point, haha).  And when we go places that Rach would normally go with us or be (ie: Annis' pool each week, Busch household, church, etc) Kylan always, with no prompting, asks "Rachy?", like "Where is she?  Shouldn't she be here?"  Again, I'm impressed that she has that type of memory and recognition, but sad that she can't see her aunt like she wants.

In a little less than 2 weeks, Kylan and I are going to make a trip out to Ithaca with my parents for a 2-day volleyball tournament to see Ra and watch her play.  With Kylan asking about her multiple times a day, that seems like a long time to wait, but hopefully that will help Kylan understand a little more about where Ra is and what's going on.  Not to mention that Kylan LOVES volleyball (or "ball-b-ball" as it comes out when she says it) and will get a huge kick out of watching the girls play.

Hopefully we'll be able to make a couple trips out to see her during her season, then she'll be home for Thanksgiving break, and then Christmas break after that.  But, following those, she will be leaving for an entire semester to live out in L.A. as part of her TV/video major.  The longest I've ever gone without seeing her in my entire life has been 8 weeks (when she first started at Ithaca), so 4 months is going to feel like an eternity for us.  How ever will I explain that to a curious toddler that loves and misses her aunt?!